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Newsletter 45. Autumn 2008. Past Events (and er non-events ):
Gretchen and I were sitting in the kitchen this morning, staring at each other in a vacant sort of way and struggling to remember all the exciting things we've done since March so that I could regale you with them. Very slowly, it dawned on us that the reason we couldn't remember anything was because there wasn't anything to remember. Actually, that's a bit of hyperbole of course we haven't been doing sweet FA for the last 6 months, but life has been unusually uneventful - for us.
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Pelt a Pennington: On April the 1 st , over at Muncaster Castle, Peter Frost-Pennington yet again sacrificed his dignity for us and put himself in the stocks to be pelted with eggs and wet sponges by the (sadistic) paying public. We sent Andrea down to oversee proceedings and make sure no-one tried adding anything to the sponges like lead weights or rocks. There has to be an easier way to raise money for us, and I'm drawing up a list for him, starting with Walking the Pennine Way Barefoot.
Festival of Fools: In May, the Castle hosted its annual Festival of Fools, culminating in the selection of the new Fool of Muncaster for the following 12 months. We were running the sideshows again, and netted about £350.00 from them, which may not sound like much for 5 days' work, but given the fact that the weather was so atrocious that the gazebos showed a marked disinclination to remain in contact with the ground it was a near-miracle.
Which brings me to Music for a Summer's Evening.
Oh dear.
You would think, wouldn't you, that we British would have learned over the years NOT to try and hold outdoor events in this country. Even allowing for the fact that watching Shakespeare in the teeth of a Force 9 gale and consuming pork pies in horizontal sleet is hardwired into our brains, there comes a point when common sense has to take over. In our case, it was out of respect for our Public Liability Insurance premiums. In theory, it was a great idea. Folk music, picnics, sparkling wine and strawberries in the idyllic surroundings of the gardens at Muncaster Chase. What could be nicer? Well, since you asked - almost anything. It rained solidly for days beforehand. The day before the gazebos were due to go up, Gretchen and I were out in the garden huddling pathetically in the shelter of a huge golfing umbrella pretending to decide where to put everything but we knew in our heart of hearts that it was all doomed. The Met Office was forecasting torrential rain for our setting up day and high winds for the Saturday of the event itself. Mud, wind, gazebos and most critically the electrical sound system (with its concomitant wiring) all added up to a disaster waiting to happen. My first aid skills are excellent, but don't extend to raising the electrocuted dead especially on wet grass. On Friday morning Gretchen, Erica, Richard-the-Gardener and I went into a huddle and decided to cut our losses and cancel. I then spent a large chunk of the remainder of the day telephoning radio stations, caterers and volunteers, putting a prominent announcement on the website and generally spreading the message. Either all my efforts paid off, or virtually no-one was going to turn up in the first place, because only one couple from Santon Bridge appeared on Saturday afternoon clutching their picnic and expecting to be entertained The next question was should we reschedule for later in the year or just give it up as a bad job? After about 10 minutes of umming and ahhing and thumbing through the diary, we voted unanimously to combine the garden-party-that-never-was with the Christmas-Fair-that-was-yet-to-be and create an entirely new beast, half way between the two, rather grandiosely called: St Francis' Fair . Why St Francis? Because it's going to be on Saturday the 4 th of October , which just happens to be the feast day of St Francis of Assisi . And so, Laydeez and Gennelmen, you are cordially invited to our really-really- really early Christmas Bash with Live Music from Spud Murphy , Steph Wars and Andy Winter (who nobly forgave us for cancelling at the eleventh hour and still want to come and play for and with us ), raffle, tombola, cakes, refreshments, gifts, cards and a good time to be had by all. It'll be an ideal opportunity to get in some early Christmas shopping as we've amassed some great new and nearly-new stuff and the new stock of recycled Christmas cards will be ready for sale by then, too. (If you brought unwanted Christmas presents to us for regifting', you might even get the chance to change your mind ). Given the perversity of the British climate, there's a good chance that we'll be enjoying an Indian Summer in early October, so we might even be moving part of the event outside. The Autumn garden should be looking good, and there'll be a selection of plants and shrubs suitable for transplanting available for sale So, put it in your diaries now. Saturday, October 4 th . St Francis' Fair. Doors open at 10.00am , and we'll be getting the cattle prods out around 4.00pm or when we start getting grumpy, whichever is the sooner (which in my case will be about 10.30am, but I always get outvoted ). Inevitably (and my regular readers will have seen this coming from a country mile), we'll need help. Volunteers, please, for baking, manning stalls, serving refreshments, raffle tickets, cakes yah-di-dah-di-dah The usual form is enclosed. I apologize in advance to those of a delicate sensibility for the putrid colour. For some reason that completely escapes me we had a stockpile of violently pink paper. I can't imagine for the life of me how it happened, but it did and this is my big chance to dump some of it. (This, of course, does NOT apply to the on-line readers, who are spared the full horror ...)
On the subject of the garden, I'd like to hand the stage over briefly to Erica, our Garden Co-ordinator:
This has been a busy year in the garden and it is about to get even more so. We will be replacing the canker infected apple trees with fresh stock, adding plum and pear trees and making a start to estab-lishing an area for nut trees. Are you looking for an exciting eco-friendly project that encourages local food production and sustainable living? Because we can provide you with a ready made one helping us to get our orchard planted! (Erica, you're getting as brazen as me it must be the company you're keeping these days Ed.) We desperately need assistance in bringing the Chase Healing Garden a giant step closer to restoring the old Victorian walled kitchen garden as an idyllic productive space, with wall-trained fruit trees. We have the trees, the enthusiasm, the commitment and the vision but unfortunately not the required amount of muscle.
By the way (this is me again ) we always have plants for sale you'll find them in front of the house, on the left of the main entrance door (and yes, we know it needs a coat of paint), by the raised garden. Come along at any time for a look. At the time of going to press we have, among other things: sedum, crocosmia and montbretia, lacecap hydrangeas, tree lupins, fuchsias, salvia microphylla (our prize plant and real little cracker), cotton lavender, pelargoniums (geraniums to you ), tansies, buddleias, mint and wild Muncaster foxgloves.
Oh and we need plant pots. LOTS of plant pots as well as muscle.
Miscellaneous bare-faced attempts to extract money from you:
It's that time of year again. You know, the raffle/calendar/trivia quizzes time of year
2009 Calendars: Those of you who bought calendars last year will be delighted to know that Dave Buxton has let us have some MORE of his gorgeous photographs, which only leaves me with the problem of deciding which ones to use. We're holding the price at last year's level £6.50 if you'd like the calendar/s posted and £6.00 if you'll be collecting them in person. They should be ready in time to send abroad as Christmas presents. Advance orders on the enclosed form are very welcome. In due course, I'll be putting a selection of the 2009 images on the website just go to the News section and follow the link from there.
Annual Raffle: Among the prizes on offer this year two beautiful cot quilts, made and donated by Janet Johnston; a handmade Shetland lace scarf in natural yarn; yet another signed and framed photograph of the amazingly popular Richard Armitage, (who as well as continuing to smoulder and anguish as Guy of Gisborne is also taking over the lead role in Spooks on BBC1 this autumn); a beautiful Stuart Crystal rose bowl and as the saying goes many, many more For several years we've been told that we massively underprice our raffle tickets. So we're yielding to pressure and upping the ticket price to £1.00 a ticket/£5.00 a book. If the raffle falls flat on its face, we have the names and addresses of the guilty parties. You know who you are. You might like to check that your passports are up-to-date.
Trivia Quizzes: The format is as before. There's one quiz for people who value their peace of mind and enjoy sleeping at nights and another the Abandon Hope for those who don't. Both are £1.00 each. There are 100 questions in the normal quiz and just 50 in the abnormal one. Be warned the passage of another 12 months hasn't made me any nicer-natured.
All of the above can, of course, be ordered on the aforementioned lurid pink form.
Finally-but-one: A quick request as always for:
Secondhand books. Jumble. Junk. Old greetings and Christmas cards for recycling. Envelopes (all sizes). Old jewellery (fabulously valuable would be nice, but anything you want to get rid of is fine ).
Basically anything you want to ditch offer it to us first, please.
Finally: Gretchen asked if space permitting I could mention in passing that she still sees clients for healing on the hour, every hour, 9.00am to 5.00pm, five days a week. Just in case you were wondering
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